Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 2

For part 1 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 1

Why an arranged marriage is not biblical? Why it is against the precepts of the Bible will be seen in the following discussion. Reason number one, human will.

Human Will

What is human will? Human will is the inherent desire of a human being to choose between right and wrong, good and evil. The subject of human will or as some may call it, free will, is a very serious and complex subject and requires a detailed study and is not the subject matter of our current discussion. Arranged marriage does not recognize or respect the will of an individual but on the contrary overpowers and suppresses the human will and emotions. Your assent or dissent is neither sought nor is considered as desired. When it is sought, it is sought in the selection and finalization of one prospect out of many. All the while the reins remain in the hands of parents and the elders relegating God as a last-minute invite. Even God does not override the human will as is revealed in Jesus’ accusation of the Jews when He said, “But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.” Jn 5:40

This system exists among a society which does not know the True and Living God. This system is prevalent in societies and cultures which are trapped in the clutches of their tradition and any dissent or assault on the tradition of arranged marriage is seen as an assault on their very culture and tradition.

The depravity of a human mind is revealed by its insistence to follow the despicable customs of an unregenerate society which is in direct conflict with God's gift of free will to humans. Arranged marriage is one bizarre custom, which negates the concept of free will.

For part 3 in the series, please click,  Arranged Marriage, Part 3

Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 1

To continue the series on the topic of customs and practices that has permeated into the Christian faith, from the Biblical perspective, I am discussing the subject of arranged marriage. Earlier, I had discussed the issue of Christian couples refusal to adopt children.

Now, the reason I’ve titled the discussion as such is to ensure that you don’t end up with a conclusion that I am promoting love marriages. No, I'm not. I am concerned only about one thing here is whether your marriage is or has been arranged by your parents or by God?

Definition

To begin our discussion, let's begin with the definition of marriage as defined in the Bible. So, what is a marriage? Bible defines it as the joining or coming together of a man and a woman, to become one flesh signifying the involvement of sex in the relationship. In Gen 2:24, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’

Marriage: Child, Homosexual, Lesbian and Polygamy

At the outset, it is evident that Bible commands and approves the marriage of a man with a woman. Bible’s concept of marriage is between a man and a woman. It does not approve child marriage; neither does it approve the marriage of a man with another man or a woman with another woman. Thus, marriage between homosexuals and lesbians is contrary and unknown to the Bible. Also, Bible does not approve polygamy. Marriage is between two individuals of opposite sex.

These unbiblical concepts are a result of the futility, ungodliness, and corruption of the human mind and a result of a false and evil culture as described in Rom 1:18-32. These concepts are foreign to Bible, which is the final and sole authority by which God measures the thoughts and actions of the individuals and the society.

One Man, One Woman: Individual Choice

Individual choice

A quick point to note from the verse is that marriage is an individual choice. It is not the decision of a group, however well-wishing the group may be and nor that of your parents, elders or relatives of your family and neither of your friends. If you wish to marry, you marry. If you do not wish to marry, do not marry. It is an individual choice. If you cannot exercise self-control with regards to your sexual passions, then marry. It is better to marry than to burn with passion I Cor 7:9. To save yourself from the sin of sexual immorality, marry I Cor 7:2.

So, it is the coming together of a man and a woman. It is not the coming together of two families, the man and the woman being just bystanders or byproduct. It is the joining of one man with one woman, the families being the coordinators, assisting in the process. They are the ones who stand alongside the couple rejoicing and commending the association. The couple takes the center stage. They hog the limelight.

An evil and corrupt culture looks at marriage as an association of two families. This is what is called an arranged marriage and a befitting example of ‘the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life’. I Jn 2:16.

For part 2 in the series, please click,  Arranged Marriage, Part 2