Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 3

For part 2 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 2

The Process: Brain-Washing

Reason number two, brain washing. Arranged marriage begins with the brain-washing process, which starts from a very early age. The girl’s mother consistently over a period of time feeds the child’s brain with the idea that to love a boy is wrong and unacceptable in the family as well as society. She discourages her from ever falling in love or to choose her own partner in the future. She is fed with the concept of ‘family honor’ to send home the point that ‘Love’ is a taboo and the girl has to respect and maintain family’s reputation and honor by suppressing her emotions and feelings and not letting them to ever take control or precedence. Let me quote what the former Indian cricket coach, Mr Greg Chappell said about decision making capabilities of Indians, “From an early age, their parents make all the decisions.” On the contrary, a boy child is given a free run, with no control mechanism in place; the boy gets the idea that he is not accountable to anyone.

During their growing years both boys and girls observe the attitude of elders and society towards those who have defied this system and chose their own partners. The elders and the society instill fear into the minds of these growing children who later on become stereotypes of those elders. They are influenced by their peers, movies and TV as well.

A Christian who lives in such a society and culture continues to follow the customs and traditions of the unregenerate society. The church, its elders and Christians themselves refuse to be transformed by the renewing of their minds that they may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God Rom 12:2.

Result

The end result is a convoluted and distorted mind, a mind that plays around with its own feelings and emotions as well as that of others who come into contact and influence of such convoluted and distorted minds.

You grow up to be an adult and live through your college life, social life and professional life without making an effort to seek your life partner and refuse to make a life-long commitment to anyone based on love. You may be attracted towards someone but you consider it just a fling, a pass-time, a non-committal relationship. At the back of your mind, you know and realize that ultimately, your marriage will be decided by your parents and elders in the family.

So, you have no regard for humanity, you play with human emotions, lie, betray and cause hurt in a relationship. You would break up a relationship only to enter a new relationship giving yourself no time to heal the wounds, if there are any, because there is no humanity left there. You are zombies, you have been brainwashed to such an extent that you do not feel anything. Since you understand that these relationships doesn’t mean a thing and cannot last, as in the end you will succumb to your parent’s choice of a life-partner.

For part 4 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 4

Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 2

For part 1 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 1

Why an arranged marriage is not biblical? Why it is against the precepts of the Bible will be seen in the following discussion. Reason number one, human will.

Human Will

What is human will? Human will is the inherent desire of a human being to choose between right and wrong, good and evil. The subject of human will or as some may call it, free will, is a very serious and complex subject and requires a detailed study and is not the subject matter of our current discussion. Arranged marriage does not recognize or respect the will of an individual but on the contrary overpowers and suppresses the human will and emotions. Your assent or dissent is neither sought nor is considered as desired. When it is sought, it is sought in the selection and finalization of one prospect out of many. All the while the reins remain in the hands of parents and the elders relegating God as a last-minute invite. Even God does not override the human will as is revealed in Jesus’ accusation of the Jews when He said, “But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.” Jn 5:40

This system exists among a society which does not know the True and Living God. This system is prevalent in societies and cultures which are trapped in the clutches of their tradition and any dissent or assault on the tradition of arranged marriage is seen as an assault on their very culture and tradition.

The depravity of a human mind is revealed by its insistence to follow the despicable customs of an unregenerate society which is in direct conflict with God's gift of free will to humans. Arranged marriage is one bizarre custom, which negates the concept of free will.

For part 3 in the series, please click,  Arranged Marriage, Part 3