For part 2 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 2
The
Process: Brain-Washing
Reason number two, brain washing. Arranged marriage begins
with the brain-washing process, which starts from a very early age. The girl’s
mother consistently over a period of time feeds the child’s brain with the idea
that to love a boy is wrong and unacceptable in the family as well as society.
She discourages her from ever falling in love or to choose her own partner in
the future. She is fed with the concept of ‘family honor’ to send home the
point that ‘Love’ is a taboo and the girl has to respect and maintain family’s
reputation and honor by suppressing her emotions and feelings and not letting
them to ever take control or precedence. Let me quote what the former Indian
cricket coach, Mr Greg Chappell said about decision making capabilities of
Indians, “From an early age, their parents make all the decisions.” On the
contrary, a boy child is given a free run, with no control mechanism in place;
the boy gets the idea that he is not accountable to anyone.
During their growing years both boys and girls observe
the attitude of elders and society towards those who have defied this system
and chose their own partners. The elders and the society instill fear into the
minds of these growing children who later on become stereotypes of those
elders. They are influenced by their peers, movies and TV as well.
A Christian who lives in such a society and culture
continues to follow the customs and traditions of the unregenerate society. The
church, its elders and Christians themselves refuse to be transformed by the
renewing of their minds that they may prove what is good and acceptable and
perfect will of God Rom 12:2.
Result
The end result is a convoluted and distorted mind, a mind
that plays around with its own feelings and emotions as well as that of others
who come into contact and influence of such convoluted and distorted minds.
You grow up to be an adult and live through your college
life, social life and professional life without making an effort to seek your
life partner and refuse to make a life-long commitment to anyone based on love.
You may be attracted towards someone but you consider it just a fling, a
pass-time, a non-committal relationship. At the back of your mind, you know and
realize that ultimately, your marriage will be decided by your parents and
elders in the family.
So, you have no regard for humanity, you play with human emotions, lie,
betray and cause hurt in a relationship. You would break up a relationship only
to enter a new relationship giving yourself no time to heal the wounds, if
there are any, because there is no humanity left there. You are zombies, you
have been brainwashed to such an extent that you do not feel anything. Since
you understand that these relationships doesn’t mean a thing and cannot last,
as in the end you will succumb to your parent’s choice of a life-partner.
For part 4 in the series, please click, Arranged Marriage, Part 4
