Oh! How I wish
that everyone’s mom dies. Oh! How I wish that everyone is brought to such a
desperate condition as I was, and still am, brought. I’ve realized the futility
of life. I do not long to live. I have a tremendous longing to see my mom, to
kiss and embrace her. This heartache, agony, and her absence are immense. I
suffer bouts of depression. I have cried a lot and often, praying to God, in my
desperation and emotions, to raise my mom from the dead, lift her out of the
grave and bring her back to me. That is the immenseness of my emptiness, the
vacuum created by her demise.
I've known few who have been emotionally
destroyed by their mom’s death, particularly, when their marital status is ‘single’.
Individuals have suffered depression, gone into isolation shunning the world and some have attempted or committed suicide.
My mom’s death has devastated me. I’ll never be able to recompense this loss.
Her death is a huge blow to me, much greater than the blow inflicted by my
termination from IBM.
But I thank my
God that I’ve known Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am glad that I’d put
my faith in Him. He is my hope and refuge. When I feel her absence, when the
agony overwhelms me, when I am possessed by the desire to see her, I find my
refuge in Him. He consoles and comforts my soul. In Jn 14:18, Jesus said, “I
will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” Everyone who puts his faith in
Christ for the forgiveness of his/her sins, God sends His Spirit to reside in
them as a guarantee of their being saved from their sins, as is written in
Ephesians 1:13, 14, ‘In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of
truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were
sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance
until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.’ Bible
calls Him, the Comforter. It is through His Spirit that the ‘peace of God which
surpasses all understanding guards our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus’. Phil
4:7.
In Christ, I’ve
hope to see my mom in heaven. I’ve this hope because she too had accepted Jesus
Christ as her Lord and Savior. She too lived a life in conformity to God’s
standard, though she was not perfect. I’ve this hope because of the promise of
Jesus, when He said, “that where I am, there you may be also.” Jn 14:3b. I’ve
the hope that when Jesus comes back in the sky, my mom will be raised up from
the dead as it has been written in I Cor 15: 51, 52, ‘Behold, I tell you a
mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-in a moment, in
the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and
the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.’
My mom’s death
brought me back to Christ. Her death brought me closer to Christ. Jesus said, "And I, if I am lifted up from the earth (signifying by what death He would die), will draw all people to Myself." Jesus' death on the cross will bring you near to God. I wish and
pray that you too would be brought to a desperate state as me and come to
Christ. For years I lived a casual life. I am sorry for the years lost. I am
sorry for having not understood the vanity of life and that I did not value
time as it slipped past. In Christ I’ve been, and still am, able to understand
and cope with the loss of my mom. If it would not have been for Christ, I wouldn’t
have been and won’t be able to understand the reason of her death. I wouldn’t
have been and won’t be able to bear the continual sorrow of her death. But
having known Christ and the hope that I would see her in Heaven, give great
satisfaction to my soul.
