Narcissism: More than a Personality Disorder

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For years, I believed that Narcissism is just a word for someone who is self-obsessed about his/her looks, beauty, intelligence, wealth etc. It never crossed my mind that Narcissism is more than that. Even when India began to be ruled by a Narcissistic King, even then, it never occurred to me to look up and study about Narcissism and Narcissists.

A personal encounter of a close kind took me on a journey to uncover the cause behind the mind-boggling intelligence displayed by my wife. The smear campaign she indulged in was so subtle and well timed that by the time(i.e. years later) I realized what she actually intended to by passing on private, confidential information to outsiders, the damage had already been done. The mind-numbing pain she caused was so intense that if I would not have come to know about Narcissism or in medical terminology, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), I would have either committed suicide or would have continued in depression. The deftness employed to create confusion was so precise and perfectly timed that it ripped me apart. A relationship with a Narcissist is a soul-crushing experience; once you are on the road with a Narc, you sure are on the way to hell. Having known and read Bible and the Biblical characters referred to as the Devil and his demons, i had a faint clue as to who i was dealing with or sleeping with.

The whole picture became clear only when i happened to read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) on Quora and the personal accounts of many victims of Narcissists. It was then I realized that i am not alone who happened to be a victim of a Narcissist. It was then that I found that I with all my weaknesses and shortcomings was not the one to be blamed for the acts of my wife.

Courtesy: Pininterest

We all have come across Narcissists. Its just that because we aren't aware of the concept of demons walking in flesh and blood, that we ignore or adjust to such individuals. Yet, they are out there, may be, as our parents, brothers, sisters, children, spouse, relatives, friends, colleagues or acquaintances. We assume that they are flawed individuals and that's that. We may pity them because of their poverty during their childhood. We may sympathize with them because of their having been deprived of parental love during their childhood. We may empathize with them for the mental, physical and/or sexual abuse they suffered during their childhood. We may assist them in their endeavor to rise up higher in their personal, professional, and social lives. But, they are not mere flawed individuals. 

Poverty, deprivation of parental love and abuse during formative years surely play a dominant role in these individuals yet they are not a result or consequence of those events. But these three events surely imbibed in them an ambitious spirit. 

So, who is a Narcissist? Or, what is Narcissism? At the outset, Narcissism is more than just a personality disorder, as they would want us to believe. Because of the fact that they don't believe in Bible or they don't want to believe in God of the Bible, the existence of Devil and his army of demons, that they have coined the word, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A Narc, from the outside, is just like a normal human being, going about his/her normal course in life. A medical practitioner can or will never be able to diagnose an individual with NPD because of the fact that they have all their faculties functioning at the optimum level. They don't scream or howl like a madman. They don't wallow in filth or dirt. They don't live in far-away isolated locations or in caves and dens. They live, eat and work among us.

A Narc's ability to create or spin stories displays their creative mind. Their ability to take and answer questions, logically, defies interrogators. Their prowess in engaging their audience is a result of their communication skills. Thus, these individuals can never be diagnosed as mentally disabled persons or incarcerated for their crimes.

To understand Narcissism, we have to understand the Biblical character, by the name of Lucifer. Our first full introduction of this creature is written in Ezekiel 28: 11-17, "Moreover, the word of the Lord came to me: 12 “Son of man, raise a lamentation over the king of Tyre, and say to him, Thus says the Lord God:

“You were the signet of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. 13 You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering, sardius, topaz, and diamond, beryl, onyx, and jasper, sapphire, emerald, and carbuncle; and crafted in gold were your settings and your engravings. On the day that you were created they were prepared. 14 You were an anointed guardian cherub. I placed you; you were on the holy mountain of God; in the midst of the stones of fire you walked. 15 You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created, till unrighteousness was found in you. 16 In the abundance of your trade you were filled with violence in your midst, and you sinned; so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God, and I destroyed you, O guardian cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire. 17 Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you."

Let's look at the qualities of this personality as revealed in the scripture. First, in verse 12, it says, "You were the signet of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty."

Perfect and full of intelligence

Lucifer, the Devil was a perfect creature and this same feature is reflected in all Narcs. They have expertise in just about anything and everything. Their knowledge is vast. They are full of wisdom, earthly intelligence as to how to convince, persuade, manipulate, lie and yet get away unscathed. Outwardly, they look beautiful. There is no flaw in their facial and physical features. They consider themselves as High Net Worth individuals. 

Pride

In Verse 17, it says, "Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor." These creatures are obsessed about their facial and physical features.

Dandy

Verse 13 details how this Angel was decorated with precious jewels. All Narcs have an immense desire to dress up, to apply make-up, love jewels, wear a pretentious outfit, they love the dandy look. Depending on their financial capability, they either get to fulfill their desires or continue to retain such urge.

Play victim

In verse 15, it says, "You were blameless in your ways...". All Narcs continue to pretend that they are the victims of abuse. All Narcs maintain innocence unless hard, undisputed, undeniable facts and truths are presented to expose them. All Narcs blame others for their past and current situations. They never accept blame. They still assume that they are blameless, faultless. They still harbor the misconception that they exist in Pre-Fall period.

Violent

In verse 16, it says, "you were filled with violence in your midst...". All Narcs are violent. They are extremely abusive, verbally and physically. They may have a calm exterior but they nurture a violent nature. They explode when exposed. Narcs do not know the path of peace. All their acts and speeches are designed to instigate violence.

In Isaiah 14:12-14, the Bible details a bit more on the fall of this creature, referred here as the Day Star and son of Dawn. It says, "How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! 13 You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; 14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High."

Ambitious

Lucifer the angel had a huge ambition that to overthrow God Himself. All Narcs exhibit this quality. All of them are highly ambitious. They want to scale heights, cross insurmountable barriers to become wealthy, rich, powerful, even becoming a king. An unwavering ambition that defies all odds, logic and commonsense. In their pursuit to become rich, wealthy, strong, powerful, they will not let anything or anyone come in their way. They are not inhibited by the laws of the land or social customs, rules, regulations. They do not consider anybody as authority or head. They are their own boss. You can't shake them off of their fantasy.

Angel of Light

In 2 Corinthians 11: 14-15, Apostle Paul writes, "And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Narcs, always present themselves as helpful, courteous, bring hope, create bliss, portray an image of being a perfect human being, draw a silver lining over the horizon. But its all a facade. Its a disguise. PM swachh Bharat Yojana (PM's Clean India plan), India shining, eradication of black money, corruption, Make in India initiative etc. are few examples.

Wanderer

In Job 1: 7, the Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” and again in Job 2:2, and the Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the Lord and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.” In 1 Peter 5:8, Apostle Peter cautions to "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." All Narcs avoid staying at home. They love to roam, travel, prowl. They are restless beings, they can't stay within the confines of four walls of a home. In their convoluted imagination, home seems like a cage. They desire to be a free bird.

Create confusion and defy authority

In Genesis 3:1, the Bible tells us, now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And again in Job 1:9, "Then Satan answered the Lord and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason?" All Narcs question an accepted fact, truth. The questions are intended to create confusion in the mind of a listener or interrogator. This is one of the reasons why it is so difficult, nearly impossible to investigate and prosecute a Narc. Kodhathai murder case is a classic example of this. All Narcs defy authority and/or instigate others to defy authority, legal or otherwise.

Lover of Money

In 1 Timothy 6:10, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils." All Narcs love money. Since evil they are at the core, their want money. So, they will deprive you of your money, in one way or the other. They want your money at all cost. That's how they deprive you of your purchasing power, reduce your financial capability. As a result, you are stuck in that relationship because now you don't have the ability to fight back or take a flight out. They want you at their beck and call. They find an evil pleasure in doing so. Demonetization, consistent price increase in petrol/diesel, loss of employment, negative growth, faulty policies, ignoring key growth areas, deliberate wastage of money on personal aggrandizement are examples of this behavior.

Smear Campaign

In 1 John 2:1, the Bible informs us, "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." Devil accuses Christians before our Father but the Bible tells us that we have Jesus Christ who intercedes on our behalf. All Narcs run smear campaign to arraign their opponent, spouse, parents, children, sibling, colleague or friend. They are good at it. They discredit, belittle, insult, humiliate, bad-mouth their opponents. Anyone who challenges their status quo is their opponent. The smear campaign was so successful that before they could defend or correct or clear the narrative that was being spread, they lost the election.

 

Christian Impossible

 It is the bondage of religion, traditions, society's pressure, rituals, ego and false belief system which restrains men from following Jesus Christ and the irony is, a new set of religion, traditions, rituals, false belief system that is not approved by Bible are the very ones which holds Christians from going back to their old religion, traditions and false belief system. The difference is now they are caught in a Christian religion, ego, traditions and rituals of the church and family, pressure of/from Christian society, and the false belief that they belong to Christ when their decision was just a fleeting moments of emotion under false presentation of the Gospel, without having known or understood the gravity of being a Christian.

For it is not possible for a good soil not to yield at least some fruit when it has consistently received good and strong seed, pure water, sunshine without any obstructions, pollution free air, unadulterated nutrients, self-less care and protection. It has to be a false soil. However times I may sow and in whatever ways I sow, they won’t yield which goes on to prove that they were never a true soil to work on.

Have they not heard what God said to humankind in Genesis, “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh.” Genesis 6:3

Did not Jesus cry out at their refusal to yield to Him when He said, “How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!”

What did he follow it with? Judgment! He prophesied and said, “See! Your house is left to you desolate.”

The Greatest Indian

Out of a population of over a billion and add to that an additional billion who have already died since our independence, there were found only ten Indians worthy of being deemed as 'The Greatest' and one of them isn't even an Indian! Of the ten, many are already burning their heels, infact their whole self, in hell and the remaining are hurtling down the same road.

A nondescript person like you and me would do well to heed the warning.

Currently, the severest of punishment is reserved for Ms. Agnes Gonxha (Teresa) who knew the truth but rejected it. The best of the good works are like a filthy rag to the living God. He detests them all.

Their fault: They rejected Jesus Christ. Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father (God of the Bible) but by Me."

Again He said, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?"

Arranged Marriage: Bible's Perspective, Part 7

For part 6 in this series, please click, Arranged Marriage: Biblical Perspective, Part 6
 
The first 'I will' statement of our God: I will make him a helper comparable to him. Instead of ascribing the glory due to Him, we've twisted it around as our parents 'I will' statement: We'll make a helper for our son/daughter comparable to us.

Sons and daughters' 'I will' statement: I will let my parents make me a helper comparable to them!!

Render unto God the things that are God's. Lest God judge you as He did Herod: Then immediately an angel of the Lord struck him, because he did not give glory to God. And he was eaten by worms and died. Again, He is not slack.

My mom

In her life, she lived in God's fear,
in her death, to Him, she brought me near.
In her life, she found solace in tears,
in death, went home, to her Dear.

A young girl, longing for love and embrace,
in return, did she receive, hurt and pain.
through it all, never, did she complain,
in death, all, she forgave.

In her suffering, like sheep, she was silent,
never ever, became she, violent.
Soft spoken, could hardly hear her speak,
Bible, to her close, she would, ever keep.

No relief, no respite, no comfort or escape,
yet to Jesus, she clung, in Psalms and prayer.
A life, not worth life at all,
yet to Jesus, she said, 'Lord, I come, You are all.'